Love and other drugs (Not the movie. Okay, a little bit about the movie)

Though Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway would make excellent topics for a bloggity-blog post, I'm not going to be opening that door now. Maybe later. He's a "Butter Face" and she seems to only know how to play one type of character. Though she did a good job in Bare, er, Brokeback Mountain and Love And Other Drugs.

Anyhooters, back at the base (Chez Moi), some crazy scheiße has gone down this past week. Bathrooms were re-tiled, part of the ceiling was replaced, bedroom carpets were replaced, and lots o' crap has been packed into boxes and moved into the garage until further notice. (For those of you not in the loop, the family is moving to California. Dad's job blah blah blah, keep the family together blah blah blah, witness protection blah blah blah [okay, that part isn't true].) Dad has had a lot of work in California for the past 18 or so months, so we hardly ever get to see him anymore. The family unanimously decided that moving everyone out there so we could all be together would be the best way to fix this awful situation. Everything was all fine and dandy with that until, BAM!, I was accepted into a school nearby. Nearby is a very loose term. It's an hours' ride on the train, then another 20 minutes walking from there. Anyway, because of this, I'm staying back here in Utah while the family goes off to Paradise, I mean, California.

Not everything involved with this is bad though. I'm moving up closer to my school, I found a killer house to live in, and the owners of the house are pretty much my Fairy God-people.

We all know how great relationships are. We also know how much they can really suck at times. Luckily those times are few and far between... After recently having a big argument with my better half, my Fairy God-people came to my rescue. I was convinced that things were over. It's pretty sad that after three rough, but incredible years, something small had the potential to just snowball into something huge and catastrophic! Anyway, my Fairy God-people are just the greatest! (To protect the names of the innocent, they will be called "Fairy God 1" and "Fairy God 2") Fairy God 2 called me this evening just to check up and see how things are going. (I had been texting Fairy God 1 earlier, so I guess they already had an idea as to what was going on.) As we talked, I told FG2 about the argument that had taken place. As an ever-loving omniscient Fairy, FGs 1 and 2 talked me down and brought me back to earth. During the argument, I guess I had made a few ultimatums, said a lot of things that I regret, and also said a lot of hurtful things. In my defense however, I had a rough weekend, and it just carried into today, so I was being irrational! (Poor excuse, I know.)

I had myself convinced that my relationship was over. There was absolutely no way that it could possibly be salvaged. Ever. Guess what though!! I had to be rational for 5 minutes... Yeah, things are good. I wasn't ready to be single again. Going out and looking for dates is NOT my idea of fun. Period.

Love and other drugs. Jake Gyllenhaal. This stupid fight I've been dealing with just makes me think of the movie. Jack Twist and Lureen Newsome, I mean Jamie Randall and Maggie Murdock fall in love under unlikely circumstances. (You thought I was going to make a Brokeback Mountain joke, huh?) Anyway, Gyllenhaal and Hathaway's characters fall in love, have a rocky relationship, they love each other, they hate each other, they love each other some more. They have sex, they hate each other, they love each other, they run away together, they hate each other. Ultimately then end up together. We all saw that one coming. That's a little bit how I feel about this whole stupid thing. We love each other, we don't like each other, we love each other, we don't like each other. We go run away for a couple days together, we don't like each other, we love each other. The more I think about it though, that's pretty normal. We love each other regardless of what happens. We may not like each other, but we love each other.

Love is my drug. How's that? I think I have an addiction. Not necessarily to be accepted, but to be loved. I don't need to be loved by everybody I know; I just need to be loved by one person. Not just being told that I'm loved, but rather knowing that I am. Maybe that isn't an addiction. Because really, if you think about it, that's a basic human need. We all need to feel and be loved. Humans are like plants. Plants need water the same way we need love. If you don't water a plant, the plant dies (I'm going to smack anyone who talks about succulents. Those plants are just weird, so don't even bother. They're like the emo kids of the world anyway). Humans start to die if we aren't shown love.

I need to type about something else because all that up there didn't really turn out the way I was wanting it to, and I'm not in the mood to go back and edit everything. All that aside, what turned out to be a horrible experience actually turned out relatively well. We're still hurt and upset at each other, but we love each other nonetheless.  I've covered love, but I don't think I've talked about any drugs in here...

Ooh! Last week I scraped my knee really bad. I was being a wuss because it was still bloody and bruised, so I took a Lortab. I don't know why I even bother taking Lortab for anything, it doesn't do anything for me. It doesn't kill pain, nor does it make me loopy. To be honest, I'm a little jealous of everyone who says Lortab makes them loopy and fuzzy feeling all over. Lucky kids.

Aie!

I seem to have absolutely no problem posting things on Twitter and Facebook, but I just can't seem to post anything on here... Give me until the 31st, and I'll get something worth reading up and posted!

Thanks all!

<Choose Your Own Witty Title>

I know it's been ages since I last posted, and I apologize. Not that it matters much though, since this doesn't get read. I guess this is more of an emotional release than anything, really.

Alright cherubs, here goes...

The past few weeks have been very difficult, to be honest. I'm back in  school (which I love), I'm getting ready to move (potentially, but I'm excited either way), and I'm still looking for a job (which is a necessary evil). Why can't prostitution be legal? I'm sure I'd have a few loyal clients...

All that aside, it's been stressful! The rest of the family is getting ready to move to California, while I'm staying here in Salt Lake to finish school. I've done the "move away from home, grow up, be independent, start a life" thing, but I always end up back here. Maybe it's just my security blanket. I'm really not looking forward to them moving. I like having them right here where I can see them, feel them, and be with them. I'm not afraid to be back on my own, I would just rather be with my family altogether.

Regardless of how I feel, I can't change the inevitable. I'll be moving closer to school, and my family will be moving closer to my Dad's work. At least it will make commuting for both of us less of a hassle...

I mean really, how fun does it sound to be commuting 3 hours total everyday to and from school? I think I'll pass. Why am I going to a school so far away versus one closer? For a few reasons, actually.

- 1. My best friend teaches here, so I already had an "in".
- 2. I saved about $2000 by going here.
- 3. I'd rather be in a smaller class where I'm a name rather than a number. Plus, I get all of my professors' personal contact info.
- 4. This massage school has a higher graduation rate compared to my other option.
- 5. It's WAY laid back. Heave course load and demanding work, but very casual and friendly.

Anyway, there were lots of perks for me. Plenty more than what I listed. I'm loving it all! Oh! Another one: I get at least one massage everyday. Yeah, that's pretty awesome.

Massage is fun, and I enjoy the happiness, serenity, peace, and joy it brings people.

Oh! Ready for some trivia? The earliest recorded text mentioning massage comes from China. It was written back in 2600 BC (some date it to 400 BC, but that's not important.) The methods described in this text made their way over to Japan where the Japanese developed shiatsu. Now, the Japanese were more accomodating and accepting than the Chinese, as the Japanese used massage as a way to employ the blind! (The Chinese usually locked the blind away, or killed them.) The blind made/make excellent therapists because their sense of touch was/is so sensitive. They excelled at their art, and shiatsu eventually became one of the most popular massage practices around the world. (The seeing are allowed to do shiatsu, just in case anyone was wondering.)

Interesting, huh? I thought it was, at least.

The Rapture

Dear 6 Readers:

As we've all heard, Harold Camping of "Family Radio" has predicted that the Rapture will occur TOMORROW between 5pm and 6pm in your local time zones around the world. "God's elect" will be raptured up (about 200 million people, or 3% of the world's population), while the rest of the world will be left here to wait for the ultimate end of the world. The Armageddon, if you will. He predicts that the end of the world as we know it will actually be on October 21, 2011 - five months after The Rapture. He claims here that according to the Bible, the world is supposed to be destroyed by a "great flood" a second time.

For argument's sake, let's say that today really is the last day before The Rapture. How would you spend your last day? What would you do?

What do Lady Gaga, a near-death experience, and C.S. Lewis have to do with each other?

I'll tell you!

Back in March I was fortunate enough to see Lady Gaga in concert when the "Monster Ball" came through. (Put your paws up, you little monsters! RAAAAAHH!) I know what most of you are thinking though: "Ugh, something ELSE about Gaga? Spare me!" Hold tight, little cherubs, I'll make this as painless as possible. Just relax.

The concert isn't my main focus, so I'll get to it. You all know her song "Born This Way," right? Well, during the concert she was talking about what inspired her to write "Born This Way" and it turns out it was her own mother and her love for God. (Crazy, huh? Gaga in love with God and Jesus? Who'da thunk...) She was telling us how that when she was in middle school, she was bullied and made fun of for such and such a reason. She told us that she would go home, and more often than not, she would cry to her Mom about how horrible the kids were to her, how she was made fun of for this and that, and how she would never go back to school because of the bullying. He Mom sat her down and told her that no matter what happened, she would always be better than those kids. She would make the world her stage, she would be a fabulous star, and one day the kids who teased her would really respect her. Of course, Moms just tell us all of those things to make us feel better. It seemed to work well enough, because she went back to school, ended up graduating, then getting accepted into Julliard on a hefty scholarship. She was telling us about other talks she had with her Mom, and how her Mom would tell her that God doesn't make mistakes. If you were born a certain way, then that's how He wanted it to be.

That was the point where I had a huge "Ah-ha Moment", and of all places, a Gaga concert... Hah!

So, how does Gaga tie into near-death experiences? About a month ago I was rushed to the ER with severe abdominal pain. I ate lunch, and about 10 minutes after eating I started feeling sick. I didn't think much of it, because I ate a really big lunch. I just thought it was my body telling me that I overdid it. I went along with my day, but the pain kept getting worse. I decided to take a shower, thinking that it would help me relax and dull the pain a bit. The shower actually made it worse... During my shower, the pain was so bad that it made me throw up a few times. I cleaned myself up again, got out, got dressed, then went upstairs to call someone to drive me to the hospital. While waiting, I couldn't handle the pain, so I threw up again. My ride finally showed up, but I could barely walk the 20 feet to the car.

During the ride to the hospital, I was convinced that I was going to die. I couldn't take a full breath, my heartbeat was up in the 200s - I was hyperventilating from the pain. Bad. I had never experienced anything so painful, and I was sure that the hospital couldn't do anything about it, so I was convinced that I was going to die. I did some serious death-bed/death-car seat praying. In the 10 minutes it took to get to the hospital, I felt calm enough that if I were to die, I wouldn't have any regrets, nor would I have anything to answer for to God. I was happy with where I was, who I was, because baby, I was born this way! ;-)

Long story short, they fixed me just fine. They gave me a bunch of heavy pain killers, nausea pills, ran a load of tests, then sent me home. Turns out I was having a severe gallbladder attack. Nothing that could kill anyone, but enough to really hurt them and make them wish they were dead.

On the subject of death, has anyone else heard of the theory that the world is going to end on May 21? Here's the link: http://www.familyradio.com/graphical/literature/judgment/judgment.html

This guy claims that he has found all the answers in the Bible about exactly when the world will end. Rather than try to explain it all, just go read it. It would make a lot more sense from this whack job, er, guy. However, if the world IS going to end on the 21st, I'm not taking any chances! I'm ready to go! No regrets.

And on the subject of the world ending, C.S. Lewis makes it sound so wonderful! Has anyone ever read "The Chronicles of Narnia"? In the last book, "The Last Battle", he describes the end of the world. It is just the end of THAT world, but not of life. Life will still continue, but in a different way. We will go on living in a whole other world very similar to ours, but still quite different. And really, it makes perfect sense! 

Not that I actually believe the world is going to end on the 21st, because I don't, but why not be ready anyway? The Bible says that the world was cleansed once already by water (Noah), and that it will never be cleansed that way again, instead it will be cleansed by fire (Armageddon) this next and final time. I'm actually excited for that day, to be honest! What do any of us have to fear, really? I'm really not too scared to meet God, I'm more afraid of what will happen to the rest of the world. I've accepted God into my heart, I've been baptized, and I know that Jesus is my Saviour. I'm not afraid of how I will end up - I know where I stand in favor to God.

So, what do Lady Gaga, death-bed experiences, and C.S. Lewis have in common? They all have a tie to God, and they all gave me little "Ah-ha Moments" to let me know that I have nothing to worry about!

Good night/morning, Blogdom! It is currently 2:51 in the AM, and sleep hasn't been anywhere near me tonight. Well, tonight or any night this past week or so. I've been going through a hardcore insomnia battle at which I am tragically losing. Since I'm lying in bed but wide awake, I decided to make a quick post about a couple observations.

Insomnia is a devil, but it does have some minor redeeming qualities...

-It gives me plenty of time to think and ponder. Ponder what? Nothing in particular, just ponder.

-I've had time to finish a book.

-I've had time to build up a good data base of random trivia. (Did you know that blonde hair and blue eyes are actually a result of a genetic mutation?)

-I learned that my dog knows the difference between "do you want a bath", "go for a ride", "go for a walk", and "BREAD!" She knows that the bath is down the hall. She knows that going for a ride means to get in my car (and to move my backpack out of the passenger seat, which she does). She knows which shoes are mine, and brings at least one to me if I'm taking too long to get ready for the walk (she will also grab her collar and harness for the walk if she doesn't find me shoes). And she knows the difference between the bread bag and a zip-lock bag when it comes to bread.

-I've learned how to do really good shadow puppets on the ceiling using my cell phone screen for a light!

Now, insomnia isn't the only thing I was going to rant about tonight/this morning. No. No, no, no. I need to talk about sleep walking!

The other night I had a dream that I was really hungry (I actually WAS hungry in real life, so it makes sense). I wanted Cafe Rio, but I knew I couldn't just go into the restaurant in my jammies, so I had to get dressed. Well, I got out of bed and proceeded to try on EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING IN MY CLOSET before deciding that I was better off just going through a drive-thru instead, because getting dressed would take too long. What happened to my clothes? 90% ended up in a pile all over my floor. I remember waking up enough to see the clothes, freak out a bit over what happened, then finally pass out again for the night.

Now, my room is more or less put back together, but I still have some clothes on my floor. I was amazed at some of the clothes I threw our of my closet: I had no idea I still owned some of them!

Just a word of precaution about insomnia though. If you're prone to bouts of insomnia, I highly recommend trying to relax or meditate before going to bed.

Here's a great link to a fantastic blog. This blogger obviously cares a great deal about the mind, relaxation and meditation. I fing it quite helpful, and I want to share it with you! Here's the link to his site:

www.relaxation.podbean.com/

Blog Challenge: Day 13

Challenge Day 13: Things I want to do before I die.

If you can't tell from the picture, it's the Great Barrier Reef. I REALLY want to go diving there before I die, and before the reef itself dies.

Stonehenge. Definitely!

Hadrian's Wall.

There are many more things I want to do before I die, but these are the main three. Will they happen? Probably not, but I can still hope and wish!

Blog Challenge: Day 12

Challenge Day 12: A YouTube video.

This has to be one of my favorite YouTube videos I've seen. It always makes me laugh! Enjoy!

Blog Challenge: Day 11

Challenge Day 11: Something I crave often.

What a friggin' letdown! I searched online for about an hour trying to find a good picture of Siegfried's, and I couldn't find a single picture for the restaurant! I had to look through my own photos instead. Seriously, why isn't a picture like this up online somewhere? Beats me...

Anyway, I almost always crave Siegfried's. Always. Almost always. Never in a million years did I think I would ever be saying this, but here it goes... I LOVE their sauerkraut!  I hate sauerkraut in general, I really do. I don't know what Siegfried's does that makes theirs different, but whatever it is it's working. At least once a week I get this undying craving for wienerschnitzel with fried potatoes and either spaetzle or sauerkraut. Hole Ish, my mouth is watering right now!

Do yourselves a huge favor and go to Siegfried's like, TOMORROW! Located at 20 W 200 S in Salt Lake City. Downtown, covered and validated parking available. Just do it.

Getting back up to speed here...

I need to catch up from the last three days, so it's going to be another three-post-day/night for me. Bear with me; I'll make it as painless as possible!


Challenge Day 10:  Something that makes me very happy.

My dogs ALWAYS make/made me happy! Even after Bear died (the black one), I still had Karma (the Boxer). She had a rough couple months after Bear went, but she made it through just fine. I just have to say "bread", "walk", "food", "bath", or "ride in the car" and she goes crazy! It just makes my day.

Bear was kinda like Eeyore in "Winnie the Pooh". He loved attention, but never really wanted to play hard. He loved being pet, getting love, having his tummy rubbed, and he LOVED going on walks! He was our Gentle Giant, the big teddy bear. He lived a great life! Unfortunately he died sooner than we expected him to. He got really sick and it progressed too fast. He left us last October, right before Halloween.

Okay, I know that was getting depressing, so let me save it... My dogs always made me happy! When I was upset or had too much on my mind, I could go talk to the dogs. Why? Because they always listened. They were there when I needed them to be. They didn't care what was going on in my life, as long as I was there to give them company. Bear was the best companion anyone could ever have asked for! Karma was his awkward, ADHD little sister. Freaking odd pairing, but they were the best dogs anyone could ever ask for, and that makes me happy!

Challenge Day 9

Day 9: Pictures that make you laugh.


Are you all ready for the awesomeness which is the pictures that make me laugh?

I could go on and on, but then it isn't funny anymore. Anyway, these pictures never fail to make me laugh for one reason or another. My personal favorite though is the "ROR" one. It's too brilliant!

Challenge Day 8

I realized I missed a day, so I'll make up for it here. Again...

Day 8: Favorite book.


So, the thing says that I have to pick ONE book that's my favorite. Really, just one?! Can I just pick an author instead? Well, you all know I have a crush on C.S. Lewis, so that's no surprise. I guess I'll have to go with...

The "Narnia" books! They're my favorite, by far! Ever since I was a little kid, I've been in love with the idea of a parallel-ish world that you can access from odd places in our own. Being sucked into it through a wardrobe while running away from the housekeeper, while waiting for the train to school, while looking at a painting, putting on magic rings... I just love it! I find it relaxing to just escape into my mind for a while if I'm too stressed or just need a break, and Mr. Lewis did a great job at that! ("The Screwtape Letters" are also great!)

Challenge Day 7

Day 7: A picture of someone who has made the biggest impact on you.

I had a hard time picking just one person who has inspired me, so I chose all of the prophets, writers, and contributors to religious text! As controversial as it may be, I have a deep respect for all religious text. Be it the Bible, Book of Mormon, PoGP, D&C, Torah, Tanakh, Qur'an, whatever, they all are inspired works which were obviously saved and passed down through the generations for the purpose of passing on traditions, stories of higher powers, warnings, prophesy, higher teachings, etc. Well, that and God made it so... Whatever it may be, I believe these works to be truly Divine! Especially in the past few years, I've come to have a deeper respect and understanding of the Bible and Book of Mormon. There are just certain things that happen in one's life that makes him/her need to at least rely on something tangible as a lifeline between yourself and something greater. For me, my belief system held all the answers I needed, and it made the biggest impact on me. So, for that, Ancient Prophets, I thank you! 

Challenge Day 6

Day 6: Write a letter to someone who has hurt you in the past.

Well, first I would like to say that in this letter you will find some things you never knew about me! Some of the things I am going to write may make you uncomfortable, but it's time I move past the hurt and stop being a victim, and start being proactive about it and my life. That being said, I wholeheartedly apologize in advance if anyone gets offended, shocked, or upset over this. However, I really look forward to reading all feedback on this!


To The Attacker:


Why? Why did you do it? What made you think that it was okay to take something that wasn't yours for the taking? How could you think that it would ever have been okay to rip a part of my soul away from me, never to be repaired? In the few weeks I knew you, I trusted you. You seemed like such a good, trustworthy, amiable, admirable person. I couldn't have been more wrong...


You took something that wasn't yours. That's thievery. And that is exactly what you are: A thief! I really should have followed my instincts rather than the peer pressure. Going on a date with you was a horribly wrong decision, and I had the feeling that it was even before we actually met. You "wined and dined" me, sweet talked your way into getting closer, then just attacked me. Even after all of that, you left me for dead in the middle of a field, without a ride home, my phone nearly dead, and scared out of my mind!


I'm willing to bet that you had no idea that as soon as I was able to form a solid, coherent thought, I called for rescue. While waiting for my Saints to pick me up, the police came. Of course, though, the police just laughed the whole situation off because really, I'm a guy. We don't get raped... (Sorry officers, but we do! I'm living proof of it. But, I'm not writing this to the officers, so moving on.) As far as I'm aware, no charges were pressed against you. You may think that you've won because you were never caught, but that's not true! I've spoken to a few other people who have had run-ins with you, and I'm not alone in this.


That being said, what are you afraid of? Do you just have an itch that you can't quite get rid of? Are you aroused by the taboo of it? Either way, what you did was illegal and dead wrong! I sincerely hope you pay for what you did to me when you reach the Hereafter.


Because of you, I've been a silent victim for years. Why haven't I spoken up until now? Because it's laughable at best. No one looks twice at a male rape victim. We don't exist. (At least according to technical statistics.) Men are never the victims. We're the ones who are the abusers, not the abused. We are the rapists, not the raped. I've been silent about this for far too long. You are a coward. You are an impatient, sour, vile, cowardly lout!


You don't deserve love. Why? Because you steal it from the innocent. You've stolen love from me, friends, and probably dozens of others. You tore our souls in half, leaving an un-fixable scar down the middle. You make it so we probably won't be capable of knowing or showing the full capacity of love that we might have had to offer had you not been around. I myself have fought feelings of worthlessness, severe depression, self-hatred, and self-abuse while trying to rise above what you did.


You may think that you've won because you got away, but really, you're far from it! I may be another "easy lay" that you have tucked under your belt, but I am not a victim anymore. If by chance you ever read this, you know exactly who you are! I am standing up for myself, for my fellow brothers and sisters, and for the countless other rape victims in the world. I really feel sorry for you though. You are incredibly attractive, and you could easily find a person who is perfect for you, settle down, adopt a bunch of kids, have puppies together, and have your cute little house with white picket fence around the yard. I'm sorry that you won't have that. I'm sorry that you will never know love. I'm sorry that you have to fill your own void by stealing parts from others. I pray for your soul, or at least what's left of it. I hope you have a good life.


Sincerely,
Erik Donaldson


P.S.


To my fellow victims/survivors: You are NOT worthless! You are NOT unloved! You should NOT have anything to be depressed about! You should LOVE yourselves more and more everyday! Why? Because you are survivors. For each day you live after the attack, you are that much stronger. You are all beautiful, and you all have my full support behind you!


I know how it feels to be the victim. I know how it feels to have everything that is sacred and private literally torn away from you in an instant. I know how it feels immediately after, for the days, weeks, and months following the attack. However, I am here to say that I believe in you, and that I know you can make it through it! I would be lying if I said that suicide wasn't a near-constant thought in the few months following my attack. I'm so glad I never acted upon it! My life now is fantastic! Suicide is the coward's way out, and it shows the attacker that he/she won. Don't you ever do that! Be strong! What helped me best deal with it was the "burning journal".


What's a "burning journal"? Go out and buy a notebook. (Nothing fancy, just one of the cheap 50 cent ones from Walmart of the kind you're supposed to have for school. You know, where you go out to buy 50 of them, but only use 3 during the whole year.) In that notebook you start keeping a journal/diary. This isn't your typical journal though. For me, at least, in my personal journal I write down everything that happened that day, whether it be good or bad. I mainly try to focus on the good though, because too much of the bad is just depressing and it isn't fun to read back on those times. Anyway, in the "burning journal" you write down your thoughts, impressions, feelings, etc. about what happened. Write a letter to the attacker. Write a letter to yourself saying what you should have done instead. Put ALL of your emotion into it! When you're done, don't close the journal to read for another day. NO! (This is the best part!) YOU BURN IT!!


Why burn it? Because that way you are getting rid of that emotion for good. You won't be able to revisit it again on paper, no one else could carelessly run across it, and because watching it burn is fun! It's therapeutic, really. For me, it was nice watching those vile memories burn. It was almost as if a part of the attacker was actually on the paper itself, making it very satisfying to see him burn along with my tears and anger. For me, it was like practicing "out of sight, out of mind", but that it actually works this way! It helped me to focus on what was happening right then, to get my emotions out on paper, to get it out as soon as possible, and then move on with my day. It was really one of the few things that kept my mind away from thoughts of suicide.


I won't guarantee that this will cure all of the pain, anger, hurt, frustration, trust issues, or depression, but it will make you feel better about yourself. I promise you that. During the "burning journal" phase, I would petition God about it. Why would He let this happen to me? If He is omniscient and omnipotent, and truly loves me as we've been taught, why didn't He do anything to stop it from happening? I got this answer out of it: Because I needed to learn a lesson.


It goes along with the adage, "Bad things happen to good people." I think that I needed to learn patience (I've gotten a lot better, but still need some work), love, kindness, forgiveness, and faith from all of this. Sure enough, He came through for me in the end. I was never really alone in this, but He just took a backseat and only came forward when it was really necessary. He had me do the studying, reflecting, focusing, and searching by myself.


The other big thing that helped me cope was music. I've been playing cello now for 14+ years, and that proved to be another great way for me to have a healthy release of emotion. It's my main hobby, and it's a HUGE part of my life! I can think back and remember more times than I care to admit of locking myself in a room to practice and play my cello until my fingers were too sore to continue and were starting to bleed. (I'll step off the Humility Wagon here for a sec to say that I'm a really good cellist, and I learned a lot from that! *Hopping back on the Humility Wagon now*) So, find a hobby that you can lose yourself in for hours at a time.


So again, my fellow survivors, we are strong! There is nothing to fear in this. You aren't alone, and you never will be. You are all beautiful! You didn't do anything wrong. You deserve only the best out of life, and I know that you will find it! So, hold your head up high, be strong, be proud of who you are, walk with a purpose, and show the world how fabulous and great you really are (regardless of what may have happened)! 

Challenge Day 5

Last post for today, then I'm finally caught up!

Day 5: Post a picture of somewhere you've been.

The thingy never said if the place I've been had to be a country, city, landmark, thought, concept, somewhere foreign or difficult to get to, so I took a little liberty. I would like to personally introduce you all to Heaven on Earth - Siegfried's! I swear, the Germans know what they're doing when it comes to comfort food. On 200 South in Downtown Salt Lake, this is the best place to get lunch or dinner. Hands down.

Why did I choose Siegfried's Deli as the place I've been? Well, because I love this place! From what I've been told by my friends who have spent time in Germany, when you walk in, it's like you walked into a deli in the heart of Frankfurt. It's run by Germans, you typically have German TV playing, and you have access to boat loads of European foodstuffs that you normally wouldn't be able to find elsewhere. Not only that though, I just love it.The food is great, the owners are friendly, and it's easily accessible. And that's why it makes me happy! :-)

Blog Challenge: Day 4

Okay, so I'm continuing on with catching up for missed days.

The next topic is:

Day 4: Your favorite quote and why.


"No creature that deserved Redemption would need to be redeemed." - C.S. Lewis.

"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it." - C.S. Lewis

-AND-

"You will certainly carry out God's purpose, but it makes a difference to whether you serve like Judas or like John." - C.S. Lewis

I have a philoso-crush on C.S. Lewis. MAJOR. I love reading what he has written, and I really enjoy his insight on religion and the world. If you ask me what I find most fascinating, it is probably just his opinion. To me, I think that he definitely took his time and put forth the effort to learn all that he possibly could about everything he wrote and spoke about. From what I've learned, Mr. Lewis loved God and respected all aspect of Christianity. That's why I chose some quotes from him as my favorite. To me, these quotes speak volumes about humanity and how we are really being perceived if you take a step back to examine us.

The first two quotes go hand-in-hand to me. We don't deserve redemption. We aren't worth it. Look what we do to each other on a global level... What do we do if we have an argument between national or religious borders? We go to war, and whichever side kills the most people wins. What's the point in that? I'm not going to get political by delving into whether or not I support wars, so don't ask for it. I just don't see the point in killing people to prove a point. However, why did Christ die for us? Why, though we aren't worth it, did He die for ALL mankind? Because we AREN'T worth it. The Son of God came to man so that man can become Sons (and Daughters) of God.

This last quote brings tears to my eyes. No matter who we are, which side of the spiritual war we're on, we are all going to carry out God's purpose. Who are we serving and fighting like though? Are we going to be Judases, or are we going to be Johns? Will we be called out on our betrayal, deny it, yet intentionally go through with it because of the "payment" we're promised in the end; or will we be Divine and Beloved? How are we fighting?

Blog Challenge: Day 3

Well, my "Faithful 5", this past weekend has been crazy! I've been either not feeling so great, running other errands, out with friends, or helping my friend finish recording some music for his album (look for Drew Reese on iTunes! You can find him on Twitter @drewreese, or on Facebook under Drew Reese-Music. Look for his newest album, "Redemption" on iTunes on Feb.8). Since I've flaked out right off the bat on this, I'm going to make up for lost days by posting three days at once! Well, not all in the same sitting, but you get the idea. Ready for a mind blowing read? Here it goes...

Day 3: A picture of you and your friends. *


     *I don't have as many pictures of my friends and myself as I should, so I'm picking the few that I think are best suited for the job!

*Sigh* Sam, Grant and Michele... These people are the greatest! I've known Grant pretty much since the day I moved into his neighborhood. Michele and I met at the tail end of our 8th grade year in school, and we've been great friends ever since. I met Sam that summer through Michele. Up until our graduation, we did just about everything together. For instance, we had a bunch of pictures taken one weekend at Kiddie Kandids, and this is one of them.

I see Michele and her husband all the time now, but I haven't seen Grant or Sam in a few years. It would be a lot of fun to "get the band back together" for a weekend. I really miss them all!

Rachel. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel...  :-) Enter the Snow College Year. We all know that I'm the best, most accomplished cellist in the area, but man, Rachel gave me a run for my money! All joking aside, she's a great friend! I think the best part of having Rachel down at Snow with me was the fact that if one of us couldn't readily find the other just walking around campus, chances were that we were in a practice room or studying in the music building.

We never really broke any laws, but we got close to being kicked out of school a couple times! (The trick is NOT being caught.) There was the Denny's Run where we piled 8 people in a coupe that barely fits 4. One night, we drove an hour into South to the nearest Denny's for late dinner/early breakfast in an expired car with one working headlight, no dashboard lights, no horn, a door that didn't shut all the way, two working seat belts, transmission that pops out of gear, and 8 people piled in. That night when we got back to school, we all played Hide-And-Seek and Sardines in the Concert Hall, all the while evading the campus security guards. We never actually got caught, but the campus newspaper wrote an article about how the security cameras saw "10 faceless people playing children's games in the music building" in the middle of the night. I figure it's safe to write about that since it was 4 years ago, and there wasn't anything said about it after it was posted in the paper. Shortly after that incident, we had our musical semester juries coming up. The month leading up to our juries, every practice room was occupied for all hours of the night by us students practicing and praying that we would pass. Well, Rachel and I decided to get creative since neither of us were ever able to actually snag a room of our own. One day after class, we propped the door open to the Concert Hall. That night we got to the building and just used the stage to practice our music on. Luckily, we were both playing one of the same pieces, so it worked out really well. After the building closed for the night, we came out of the Concert Hall and called the rest of our friends to come study and practice with us in the main lobby. We were easily up until 4 that morning practicing. Our juries were at 7...

Let's see... Erin (with my arm around her), Grant (over my right shoulder), and Christina (behind us. I'll have another of her later.)

I had just come back for the weekend from working in St. George for Erin's farewell in this one. It was great to be back because I was bombarded by all my friends at once! I've never felt so popular! Haha  Erin is Grant's sister, so that's how I know her. When we first met, we actually hated each other! I would get a ride home from school from Erin occasionally, and it was just awkwardly silent the whole ride. Out of nowhere though one summer, we became good friends. It must have just been because I'm so attractive...

Gah, Christina! You closed your eyes! Well, I've known Mark forever. I've known Christina and Kayla since the day I moved in here. Wow, Mark is darker than Christina here. The whitey is darker than the Samoan? Hmmm...

There really isn't any fantastic story behind this one or for these friends. They're just great people, and I'm really happy they're my friends. I mean, we've all been together for years, and that should count for something right? Kayla crushed on me hard, Mark crushed on Kayla really hard, Christina was Switzerland in all of this. She was our neutral power. (But I secretly have a huge crush on her anyway.)

The St. George Crew! These guys were the greatest! Besides the past 2 1/2 years, my time in St. George was the best time of my life! It was awesome, because 90% of the time, I was the only guy there at the site with a bunch of girls. Seriously, these girls are tough! I saw one girl get attacked by fire ants, sand wasps, a scorpion, and still work like nothing happened for the rest of the day. CRAZY! Okay, so the reason I was down there is because I was helping a good friend of mine with his company. He owns an archaeological consulting company, and he needed help with an excavation. Since I've had experience digging, he asked if I would be interested in taking the job down there for the year to excavate the Sand Hollow Resort. I learned a lot, did a lot of things I thought I'd never do, did things I'll never do again, ate some things I'd rather never eat again, saw some amazing things, and made fantastic friends! St. George Crew, I love you all! (Including the dudes.)

I snagged this picture from my friend Amanda. We met up with Drew one night for dinner at The Bayou in Salt Lake. Amanda is fantastic! She's very grounded, smart, witty, and fun to have around. She's one of the lucky few who get to be around me all the time! People would kill to fill her shoes...

Drew, why do you make it so hard to find pictures of you? I've known Drew for a few years. He's been a great friend, and he's always willing to get together for lunch whenever we need a break from life. Drew is a Pastor, Worship Leader, and is very accomplished. He just finished another album (his 4th, I believe) this week, to be released next week! He's a very talented musician, who sings and plays piano very well. He just started a non-profit ministry organization called Warrior Worship, to help benefit soldiers dealing with, and the families of those soldiers dealing with PTSD, to help those deployed to have access to religious material, and to be an active support group to those soldiers and their families if needed. This thoughtlessness is what started our friendship. Being a veteran himself, his drive and love for his fellow soldiers and veterans is easily seen. He's a great person, caring, loving, incredibly sarcastic, funny, witty, and the best friend anyone could ask for.

My whole family! Well, on my Mom's side... These are the best friends I have. They've never failed to be there when I need them. I know, it's the cliché, sappy answer to anything with family, but it's true. They drive me absolutely crazy, but I love them!

Challenge Day 2

Day 2: The meaning behind my blog name.


A few years ago my aunt and her kids came up to visit for part of the summer. Her youngest son had the hardest time saying my name right, so it came out "E-why" instead. That only lasted a few months before he learned how to say it right. I thought it was cute, so I made it stick. Since then, my aunt had a daughter. Her daughter has trouble with pronouncing a lot of words, so it's easier for her to call me "E-y" too. So, what was a cute speech impediment has now turned into the only other name I will absentmindedly answer to!

Now, for the "E-y, E-y Oh!" part... For years, my parents have teased me with the "Old MacDonald" song with my name. Well, backing up even farther than that. I was teased for as long as I can remember for my last name, and the kids would always taunt me with "Old MacDonald". I'm not complaining now, but it was a little traumatic back then for me. I was a very shy kid. (I still am a shy person.) Anyway, when my family first heard Brendan (my aunt's youngest son) call me "E-y", they thought it was funny and that it reminded them of the song, so they would sing it and call me "E-y, E-y Oh!"

The reason I chose that for my blog name is because it makes me smile and reminds me of the innocence of childhood. My little cousins and family still call me "E-y" (and other variations thereon), and I wouldn't have it any other way! My future nieces and nephews WILL call me "Uncle E-y"; they really don't have any other choice there. Haha!

First post!

So, I've been meaning to actually post something here for ages, but I've just been neglecting it up until now. After scanning other blogs, reading my sister's blog, and just sitting back today, I decided to do something about it! Whether or not anyone will read this is up to all of you out there, but I'm doing this for me!

A couple weeks ago I was talking with a friend about blogging. She gave me a good idea - Do a 30 day challenge at first. So, that's what I'm going to do. I'm kind of stealing some of these ideas for the 30 days from my sister and various other blogs I've read, so I apologize if I'm not doing it "correctly". Here goes nothing...

Day 1: Upload a recent photo of yourself and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

* In the photo: My sister, Keira; my father; and myself. We spent the New Year in Glamis with my Aunt and Uncle, and their family. My mom and other sister, Makenna, weren't able to make it down with us that trip.

1. I'm the oldest of three kids. Myself (24), Makenna (20), and Keira (16).

2. I graduated high school in 2005. It wasn't anything special. In fact, I BARELY graduated. I was a great student, all of my teachers loved me! I just got very lazy my last semester in high school. None of you need to know what my GPA was though...

3. Though I barely graduated high school, I proved myself a good student because scouts from BYU and the UofU came to my door offering full tuition for 4 years if I would play cello for them. I was dumb and turned both of them down to go to Snow College instead. Like I said, it wasn't a wise decision.

4. My ideal outside temperature range is the low-40s to mid-90s.

5. I love button-up t-shirts! I always have.

6. I'm a stubborn person by nature. However, even though I'm stubborn, I still like to hear all sides to an argument, and I will hear you out. Even though you're going to be wrong, because I'm stubborn and I'm always right. :-P

7. I have a unique sense of humor.

8. I've played cello for 14 years. I've taught private lessons for 6 of those years.

9. I love "The Twilight Zone".

10. I want to be a musical ethnologist when I grow up!

11. I have the greatest family! They are very loving, patient, understanding, caring and thoughtful. Though I've dropped a few massive bombshells on them in the past few years, they still love me regardless. They've been there for me throughout the best and the worst. They've supported me, guarded me, had my back, nudged me when I needed the nudging, love who I love, and it all means the world to me!

12. So, I'm going to be bald by 35.

13. I can't grow a full beard, but I can grow a wicked mustache and goatee though!

14. Walnuts give me hives down my throat to my stomach (yes, I WILL go to the hospital if you try to trick me into eating them), cantaloupe makes me gag, cauliflower tastes like dirt, and watermelon makes me burp. But I can't get enough watermelon during Summer!

15. Though I have issues with the aforementioned foods, I'm not a picky eater at all!